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I am so, so tired. Not even just "don't get enough sleep" tired, just pure exhaustion down to my bones. I keep getting stomachaches because I'm stressed out...I really don't want to move out, but I don't really have any choice.
The weird thing, everybody keeps telling me how excited I should be about this, and I'm not. I'm getting pretty sick of everyone telling me how I ought to be feeling about it, while nobody seems to be interested in that this is terrifying for me?? Like...I'm gonna have to eat alone, do all the cleaning, get myself up for work...like, why the fuck should I be 'excited' about that? I don't understand people at all. I keep wanting to say, "If you think it's so exciting, YOU move in." My Dad keeps calling me repeatedly and telling me he "supports" me, but honestly it's getting to be a bit much. He has no concept about when I need space, like today I met him for lunch, had a nice enough time, then he rings me AGAIN this evening to ramble on and on about nothing. Then he acts surprised/offended when I have nothing knew to talk about. Like, thanks Dad, really need more stress on top of this.
Also I lied about publishing a journal entry on my new laptop. The new one has Windows 10 on it and I can't stand all the apps and extra bullshit on it, it doesn't even have the usual internet browser I have so everytime I try to go on the new one I just get confused and angry. Hopefully I can figure out how to make it more suited to me before I leave or I guess I'll have to return it.
I'm going for a body massage tomorrow...my wrists, back and knees all really hurt from being stuck in the same position all day. I've come to the slow realisation I hate my job a lot...like it's so boring I keep struggling not to fall asleep.
I just want to lie down and sleep forever.
~Amulet
The weird thing, everybody keeps telling me how excited I should be about this, and I'm not. I'm getting pretty sick of everyone telling me how I ought to be feeling about it, while nobody seems to be interested in that this is terrifying for me?? Like...I'm gonna have to eat alone, do all the cleaning, get myself up for work...like, why the fuck should I be 'excited' about that? I don't understand people at all. I keep wanting to say, "If you think it's so exciting, YOU move in." My Dad keeps calling me repeatedly and telling me he "supports" me, but honestly it's getting to be a bit much. He has no concept about when I need space, like today I met him for lunch, had a nice enough time, then he rings me AGAIN this evening to ramble on and on about nothing. Then he acts surprised/offended when I have nothing knew to talk about. Like, thanks Dad, really need more stress on top of this.
Also I lied about publishing a journal entry on my new laptop. The new one has Windows 10 on it and I can't stand all the apps and extra bullshit on it, it doesn't even have the usual internet browser I have so everytime I try to go on the new one I just get confused and angry. Hopefully I can figure out how to make it more suited to me before I leave or I guess I'll have to return it.
I'm going for a body massage tomorrow...my wrists, back and knees all really hurt from being stuck in the same position all day. I've come to the slow realisation I hate my job a lot...like it's so boring I keep struggling not to fall asleep.
I just want to lie down and sleep forever.
~Amulet
I'm not sure what to do with this account
Hello all. (Or hello anyone.) Wow. In the past I've said I've been going on DA less or have expressed interest in leaving, but I haven't logged into this account in literal months. Anyway. Lately I've been trying to clear up some of my accounts on various websites and when I recalled this one I kinda cringed into another dimension. I've had this account for about 8/9 years and I've very different from how I started. So now I'm at a crossroads. On the one hand, I really hate there's no way to track down all my old comments and such. I used to be hardcore into various fandoms in 2012 that I don't associate with now, and things I said that are not my opinions now. I don't want evidence of the old me floating around, but tracking down every comment would take forever and I don't have the energy. Plus I have a bunch of old fanfics and journals on here that, again, do not reflect who I am or my abilities anymore and they make me cringe. Also I used to follow certain artists/authors who I
Welp.
So...I haven't been on DA in like nearly two months. 2020 seems to be the year of everything being cancelled. Blogs I used to follow, YouTubers I used to watch, movies/plays I wanted to see, events I wanted to attend, etc. But tbh I haven't missed DA very much. None of the friends I used to have here post much, if at all, Eclipse is an absolute trainwreck that I can't stand using and overall I think the website is a shell of its former self. So I'm going to back off from it for a while. I won't be melodramatic and say I'm quitting permanently (for now), but I won't be checking it daily, won't post as much, etc. I think it's overall better for my health if I don't obsess over DA because I usually just end up feeling disappointed and frustrated. I do have some book reviews because I've been reading a lot these past couple of months, but interest in my monthly reviews seems to have vanished too. So, if you want to read some of them, Note me and I can direct you to my book review blog
April Reviews!
A Spark of Light - Jodi Picoult (2.5)
Being a long time fan of Jodi Picoult, I was excited to see she's still writing.
However, what could have been an enjoyable book is bogged down by silly, melodramatic dialogue, two-dimensional characters and confusing timejumps that constantly threw me off-course. If the book had been told linearly, I probably wouldn't have kept stopping to go, "Wait, what's happening, again?"
And oh, the lines get ridiculously corny. There's a scene in which Hugh (who is the closest thing the book has to a protagonist, alongside his daughter, Wren) goes in to negotiate with the gunman, as his daughter is one of the ho
April 25th
April 25th.
Not too hot, not too cold.
But you don't need a light jacket because we can't FUCKING GO ANYWHERE.
So I was expecting to feel pretty pissed off today. This week I had SO MUCH STUFF planned and thanks to some dipshits across the world, all of that's pretty much in ashes now. Today I was supposed to be having a day out in London to see Be More Chill, but the West End is closed. Also this week I paid a deposit back in January to attend a 10-week art class that would have taught me all about how to do digital art. I've ALWAYS wanted to be taught how to do so by a professional because every time I've ever tried to use a tablet on my
© 2017 - 2024 UnluckyAmulet
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You can download internet explorer on Windows 10, pin it to the taskbar and then delete Microsoft Edge. Hope some of your tiredness go away, I have the same problem