Devious Journal Entry

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UnluckyAmulet's avatar
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I am so, so tired. Not even just "don't get enough sleep" tired, just pure exhaustion down to my bones. I keep getting stomachaches because I'm stressed out...I really don't want to move out, but I don't really have any choice.

The weird thing, everybody keeps telling me how excited I should be about this, and I'm not. I'm getting pretty sick of everyone telling me how I ought to be feeling about it, while nobody seems to be interested in that this is terrifying for me?? Like...I'm gonna have to eat alone, do all the cleaning, get myself up for work...like, why the fuck should I be 'excited' about that? I don't understand people at all. I keep wanting to say, "If you think it's so exciting, YOU move in." My Dad keeps calling me repeatedly and telling me he "supports" me, but honestly it's getting to be a bit much. He has no concept about when I need space, like today I met him for lunch, had a nice enough time, then he rings me AGAIN this evening to ramble on and on about nothing. Then he acts surprised/offended when I have nothing knew to talk about. Like, thanks Dad, really need more stress on top of this.

Also I lied about publishing a journal entry on my new laptop. The new one has Windows 10 on it and I can't stand all the apps and extra bullshit on it, it doesn't even have the usual internet browser I have so everytime I try to go on the new one I just get confused and angry. Hopefully I can figure out how to make it more suited to me before I leave or I guess I'll have to return it.

I'm going for a body massage tomorrow...my wrists, back and knees all really hurt from being stuck in the same position all day. I've come to the slow realisation I hate my job a lot...like it's so boring I keep struggling not to fall asleep.

I just want to lie down and sleep forever.
~Amulet
© 2017 - 2024 UnluckyAmulet
Comments6
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Equinox-at-dawn's avatar
You can download internet explorer on Windows 10, pin it to the taskbar and then delete Microsoft Edge. Hope some of your tiredness go away, I have the same problem